How To Win Friends and Influence People

By on June 24th, 2009

by Dale Carnegie

  • Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
  • Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
  • Part Three: How To Win People to Your Way of Thinking
  • Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
  • Part Five: Letters that Produced Miraculous Results
  • Part Six: Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier

  • Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
    1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.
    2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
    3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  • Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
  • Part Three: How To Win People to Your Way of Thinking
    1. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it.
    2. Show respect for the other person’s arguments. Never say “you’re wrong”.
    3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
    4. Begin in a friendly way.
    5. Get the other person saying “yes” immediately.
    6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
    7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
    8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s views and desires.
    10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
    11. Dramatize your ideas.
    12. If all else fails, throw down a challenge.
  • Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
    1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
    2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
    3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
    4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    5. Let the other person save face.
    6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
    7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
  • Part Five: Letters that Produced Miraculous Results
  • Part Six: Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier
    1. Don’t nag.
    2. Dont try to make your partner over.
    3. Don’t criticize.
    4. Give honest appreciation.
    5. Pay little attentions.
    6. Be courteous.
    7. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.

notes by swyx

  • Eight Things this Book will Help You Achieve
    1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new ambitions.
    2. Make friends quickly and easily.
    3. Increase your popularity.
    4. Win people to your way of thinking.
    5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
    6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
    7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
    8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
  • Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
    1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.
    2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
      • There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything to do anything. Just one way. That is by making the other person want to do it.
      • And of all the things we want, we usually satisfy (food, sleep, etc.) except for importance.
      • Fulfil the importance need.
    3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
      • If there’s any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.
  • Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. To interest people.
    6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. How to make people like you instantly.
  • Part Three: How To Win People to Your Way of Thinking
    1. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it.
    2. Show respect for the other person’s arguments. Never say “you’re wrong”.
      • Welcome the disagreement.
      • Distrust your first instinctive impression.
      • Control your temper.
      • Listen first.
      • Look for areas of agreement.
      • Be honest.
      • Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully.
      • Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
      • Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.
    3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
    4. Begin in a friendly way.
      • “This is a red-letter day in my life. It is the first time I have ever had the good fortune to meet the representatives of the employees of this great company, its officers and superintendents. Together, and I can assure you that I am proud to be here, and that I shall remember this gathering as long as I live. Had this meeting been held two weeks ago, I shoulde have stood here a stranger to most of you, recognizing a few faces. Having had the opportunity last week of visiting all the camps in the southern coal field and of talking individually with practically all of the representatives, except those who were away; having visited in your homes, met many of your wives and children, we meet here not as strangers, but as friends, and it is in that spirit of mutual firendship that i am glad to have this opportunity to discuss with you our common interest. SInce this is a meeting of the officers of the company and the representatives of the employees, it is only by your courtesy that i am here, for I am not so fortunate as to be either one or the other; and yet I feel that I am intimately associated with you men for in a sense I represent both the stockholders and the directors.” J.D.Rockefeller Jr. 1915, Colorado Fuel and Iron Company
    5. Get the other person saying “yes” immediately.
    6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. The safety valve in handling complaints.
    7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. How to get cooperation
    8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s views and desires.
    10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
      1. JPM said that people have two reasons for doing something, one that sounds good and then the real one.
    11. Dramatize your ideas.
    12. If all else fails, throw down a challenge. Make the thing a game /challenge / somethign worth achieving.
  • Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
    1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
    2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
    3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
    4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    5. Let the other person save face.
    6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
    7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
  • Part Five: Letters that Produced Miraculous Results
  • Part Six: Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier
    1. Don’t nag.
    2. Dont try to make your partner over.
    3. Don’t criticize.
    4. Give honest appreciation.
    5. Pay little attentions.
    6. Be courteous.
    7. Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
"Human Weaknesses"

"Human Weaknesses"

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